Forgive Me?
by N Jas J
Summary: Based on the 2007 movie. Y'know, what happens afterwards? Yea, that. Rated, just to be sure.
1. Chapter 1

Okay, writer's note: After reading lots and lots of TMNT fanfics, finally decided to write one myself.

Disclaimer: Obviously enough, I don't own any character you've seen in the series. Also, this is based on the 2007 movie.

"He's. Never. Gonna. Forgive. Me." Raphael grunted as he pounded on his punching bag. The whole incident replayed on his mind.

"_We got along just fine without you!"_

Raph pounded on his punching bag. The muffled sound echoed through the dojo.

"_You think the world revolves around you!"_

He fell weakly to his knees from physical and mental exhaustion.

"_I'm better off calling my own shots! Now get used to it."_

Raph hugged his knees while leaning his head against the punching bag. His hand bled from hitting the punching bag too hard.

"_I was training, training to be a better leader, for__** YOU**__! Why do ya hate me for that?"_

Raph let out a muffled sob. His mask was wet from the tears that he'd been tring to hold in for so long now. Suddenly, a hand was placed softly on his shoulder, surprising the red masked turtle who jumped at the touch.

"M-man, Leo, do ya hafta do that?" Raph asked shakily while holding back his tears.

Leo smiled, he didn't say a word as he pulled his brother into a hug. The shocked turtle shook as he returned the embrace.

"Look, Leo, I'm sorry about what happened and I won't blame you if you hate me, it's just that I-I-"

"No, Raph, it wasn't your fault. I shouldn't have said those things." Leo said.

"There ya go again, Fearless!" Raph shouted. Leo released his brother from his grasp and looked at him shocked.

"Ya just **hafta **take the whole world's burden on ya shoulders, don't you? Can ya stop being so selfless! It was my fault! Can't the fearless leader accept for once that it was…my...fault?" Raph asked. He pulled his sai out of his belt and pointed it at Leo.

"_You are __**so**__ smug, ya know that?"_

That was how it happened. Raph losing his temper, than threatening his brother with his sais. Raph immediately dropped his weapons. The two sais clattered as they hit the floor. Leo stared at him wide-eyed. What he just said. It sounded too familiar for him.

"L-leo…I-I'm sorry…" he stammered before running to his room, holding back tears.

"Raph, wait!" Leo called out from the dojo

Raph slammed his room door shut and leaned against the door. There, he sought comfort from the darkness of his room. A minute passed before raphe heard a knock on his door. Was it really a minute or just a few seconds? He couldn't tell.

The knocking came again, this time accompanied by a soft voice. "Raph? Can I come in?" Leo asked.

I forgot how to put in lines so I'm using ~ to replace the lines people use to separate author's note from the story. Anyways, review, hope you liked it! (sorry it's short, but I've gotta go)

-Peace out, Jas


	2. Chapter 2

Hello readers! Proud to present to you *drum roll* Chapter twelveee! Yeap, Jas here is back, and so are Leo and Raph. Let's all pray for a happy ending. Yikes, I see eyes staring me down from a rooftop near my house. Better go…Now. Enjoy the story as I hide from Raph!

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><p>"Raph, please, open up. Please, we need to talk," Leo said desperately.<p>

'Hmm. The Fearless Leader is beggin, that's new,' Raph thought as he chuckled sadly to himself. His red mask was still darkened by streaks of tears and his eyes matched his bandanna from the crying. He sighed and opened up, managing a shaky "Wh-What do you want, L-Leo?"

"You need to know that I don't blame you and I never will," the blue masked turtle said as if practiced. He sat down on Raph's bed. 'No, he **has** to blame me! He can't forgive me if he doesn't blame me!' Raph thought to himself, consciously fighting back tears. He rammed his eyelids closed as he stood. He could feel himself shaking, shivering, holding those tears in. Suddenly, a warmth embraced him and his eyes opened, allowing the tears to slip. As his eyes opened, he realised his blue-banded brother was…hugging him? The warmth and comfort provided just made Raph open up. He sobbed as he buried his face in Leo's shoulder. Raph stopped sobbing, embarrassed by his sudden display of emotion. Minutes of silence passed before suddenly, the door swung open.

"Hey, guys, me, Don and Splinter are going over to April's, wanna come?" an orange-banded turtle walked in obliviously before looking over the scene before saying "Oh."

"That's okay, Mikey, we'll stay here." Leo said coolly. Mikey headed off.

"Raph, you gotta know that I don't hate you. You're my brother, and I will always love you, all of you."

Raph choked.

"_Training to be a better leader, for __**YOU**__! Why do you hate me for that?"_

'I don't hate you either Leo,' Raph thought but the words never came. The hot-headed turtle found it harder and harder to breathe as every millisecond passed.

"Raph, are you…okay?" Leo asked, noticing Raph's heavy, laboured breathing. Raph seemed to snap back to reality and his breathing pace returned to normal.

"You were thinking about it again, weren't you?"

"Fearless leader, reading my thoughts, once again," Raph chuckled.

"Why d'you call me that?" Leo asked more curious than irritated.

"Oh, c'mon! You're afraid of nothing – nothing fazes you. Everyone looks up to ya! You're a super hero in Mikey's eyes and a hero in Don's. Me? I ain't nothing. I'm just the worst big brother anyone can eva have. Compare to the 'Great Leonardo', I'll always be second place," Raph said sadly.

"Wait back up a little. A hero? Really?"

"Ya mean ya never noticed? Man, Leo! Wait 'ere. I'll show ya some proof," Raph said, partially shocked at his oblivious brother.

A couple of minutes later, Raph returned with a hand-drawn comic book in his hand. 'Mikey…' Leo thought as he opened the first page of the book. Surely enough a badly coloured green figure in a blue costume was the hero and saviour of the day. 'Raph was right…?' Leo asked himself mentally.

_A hero._

Those words made him shake his head. He was no hero. Not if he was the cause of Raph's tears, no, he wasn't a hero.

"See? I ain't nothin'," Raph whispered sadly, his body shook without his permission.

"Raph…" Leo said. Really, he didn't know what to say. But he knew he **had** to say something.

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><p>TA-DA! I'm sooo evil leaving you with a cliffhanger! :D Haha, don't worry, I'll update soon, promise! Please review! It makes me happy when skies are grey (LOLS) Ahaha hope you enjoyed it,<p>

Peace out,  
>Jas<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

Okay, I'm back, and don't hate me for the last chapter! Someone's after me, I know it… Nevermind, here's the next! Enjoy! R&R please!

_(With Me: Sum 41)_

_I don't want this moment to ever end  
>Where everythings nothing without you<em>

"Raph, you _are_ something, and you gotta believe it!" Leo said while sighing. Raph looked at the floor, obviously embarrassed.

"Raph, look at me," Leo said gently. Raph continued to stare at the floor.

_I'll wait here forever just to, to see you smile  
>'Cause it's true, I am nothing without you<em>

"Look at me." Leo said, more urgent yet still gently, as he put his hand on the red-masked turtle's shoulder. Raph looked back into reflective hazel eyes that stare nothing but the truth back at him.

_Through it all, I made my mistakes  
>I stumble and fall, but I mean these words<em>

"Raph, I'm not a hero, and you _are_ something," Leo said. "You're the stubborn hot-head we all know and love and will protect us no matter what happens," Leo said smirking. He realised Raph flinched at the word 'love'.

_I want you to know  
>With everything I won't let this go, these words are my heart and soul<em>

The younger turtle let the words sink in. Unfortunately, he caught a different meaning then what Leo was trying to make. "See?" Raph shouted more to himself than Leo. Leo, however shocked he was at the reaction, did not show it and instead, allowed his brother to express himself. "I'm supposed to be the hot-headed stubborn one! Mr. Tough Guy! And now here I am, crying. Shell, I can't even be good at something I'm known for! Crying…I'm weak."

_I'll hold on to this moment you know, 'cause I'd bleed my heart out to show  
>And I won't let go<em>

"Raph, people who cry aren't weak, they've just been strong for too long," the turtle leader said, rubbing his brother's shell. "And I'm not fearless," he added quietly.

"Hmm?"

_Thoughts read unspoken, forever in doubt  
>Pieces of memories fall to the ground<em>

"You said that I was fearless, that I wasn't afraid of anything. Well, truth is, I'm always afraid."

_All the streets where I walked alone, with nowhere to go  
>I've come to an end<em>

"I'm afraid every night when you're not home, wondering if you're okay."

_I want you to know  
>With everything I won't let this go, these words are my heart and soul<br>I'll hold on to this moment you know, 'cause I'd bleed my heart out to show  
>And I won't let go<em>

"And I'm afraid when and if you get wounded in battle, and most of all, I'm terrified that I might one day have to watch one of you die. I know this is selfish, but I just wish I'd be the one to die first. I wouldn't be able to ever forgive myself if I let any of you die. It would mean that I failed to look after you as a brother," Leo confessed quietly.

_In front of your eyes, it falls from the skies  
>When you don't know what you're looking to find<br>In front of your eyes, it falls from the skies  
>When you just never know what you will find (what you will find)<em>

Raph sat back on his bed, shocked. Tears came to his eyes before he quickly blinked them away. "Leo, if you died…if you died, this family would literally fall apart. Mikey would lose his laughter… Donnie wouldn't have anyone to talk to who actually gets him."

_I don't want this moment to ever end  
>Where everythings nothing without you<em>

"And me…I know I've never said this, but…I'd be nothing without you, bro. And I'm nothing compared to ya…" Raph said solemnly.

_I want you to know  
>With everything I won't let this go, these words are my heart and soul<br>I'll hold on to this moment you know, 'cause I'd bleed my heart out to show_

Suddenly, the younger turtle was enveloped in a hug by the turtle leader who whispered, "First of all, bro, whenever you think you're nothing compared to me, remember you're _everything_ to me."

_And I won't let go (I want you to know)  
>With everything I won't let this go, these words are my heart and soul<em>

He released his brother before continuing, "Second, you gotta promise me you'll look after Mikey and Don if and when I'm gone. Make sure everyone has each other's shells. I trust you to be a better leader than me." Before Raph could disagree, Leo looked Raph in the eye before finishing, "And lastly," -he quickly hugged Raph-

_I'll hold on to this moment you know,  
>'cause I'd bleed my heart out to show<br>And I won't let go_

"I love ya, bro."


	4. Chapter 4

I'm SOOOO sorry! I forgot the disclaimers ;) Hehe, by the way, thanks TMNTLittleTomboy, PsycodelicTurtle and UnderWaterUnicorn! And those others but if I mentioned your name, I probably won't finish the story… Anywayyys, on with the story!

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><p>The red-banded turtle was shocked at the words.<p>

"Leo, I-I…-" Raph started, clearly not good at expressing his emotions. Suddenly, the door slammed open.

"We're home!" Mikey shouted.

"Hey, Mikey!" Leo said, running out of Raph's room to greet his little brother.

Raph sighed. 'I better tell him some day, before it's too late' he thought and smacked himself for it. Leo will always be there to lead them, whether he liked it or not! He sighed again before hesitantly glancing at the clock. He'd talked to Leo for an hour! He guessed that the silence made it seem longer. Raph thought over the words his brother had said. "You're _everything_ to me" How was that even possible? 'Leave it to Fearless – I mean Leo - to do the impossible' Raph thought, chuckling. Suddenly, there was a knock on his door.

"Raph? Can I enter?" Donatello asked, entering Raph's room.

"Yea, sure."

"We're going patrolling, you coming?"

"Sure," Raph answered, smirking.

The turtles played catching all over New York City as everyone was inside their homes asleep. Crime was low that night and the turtles were enjoying serenity.

Leo finally caught Mikey and all four turtles stopped running to catch their breaths. "It's not always the nights are as peaceful as this." Leo started.

"Yeah, most of the time, there just has to be some Foot or PD's around." Raph agreed.

"You got it! I almost got bored of fighting them!" Mikey exclaimed.

Everyone stared at him as he shrugged and responded by saying "I said 'almost'."

They started to just walk through the dark streets talking. Suddenly, as they turned a corner, a shuriken struck the ground ahead of them.

"Mikey, Don, you guys leave and lose anyone who's following you before entering the lair. Me and Raph will catch up later," Leo instructed as a group of Foot ninjas surrounded them from buildings.

Mikey and Don nodded before shooting off together. Raph and Leo were having hand-to-hand combat with the skilled Foot ninjas who came in groups. After an hour of never-ending combat, Leo and Raph finished the last two groups of Foot ninjas, Raph with a strong left hook, and Leo with a kick to somebody's ribs, probably breaking them. Raph smirked at the accomplishment he made. He looked to Leo and raised his fist, asking for a fist-bump. Just as Leo was about to do so, he realised a foot ninja…raising and pointing his sword at Raph. Time slowed down as Leo's eyes widened, Raph still oblivious to the attack. Leo pushed Raph out of the way at the last moment…and took Raohs place through the sword. Raph immediately sliced the ninja with his sai, not caring about the lectures he had been given about 'honour'. There was no 'honour' in the situation in the first place!

Raph held his brother in his arms, unsure of what to do next. He decided he'd send out a distress signal to Donny. 'But what do I do with Leo while we wait?' he wondered. Leo had been struck straight through the shells and through the plastron so that the sword could be seen on both sides. 'What if…what if he didn't make it?' Raph thought, ready to cry, but he had to stay strong. Leo wouldn't want to see him cry…


	5. Chapter 5

Yo readers! Went through your reviews and I just wanted to say thanks for supporting me through the course of this story. P.s., what you see is not what you get! Don't kill me when you see the end of the chapter.

"L-Leo…st-stay with me, bro." Raph whispered through tears. A sticky red liquid wet his hands as he holds Leo, carefully so that he would not be resting on the sword through his shell and plastron.

**Raph's POV**

(Anthem of the Angels - Breaking Benjamin)

I'm such an idiot! I should've seen the attack! But I didn't…it's all my fault…now I'm holding my only big brother who's holding onto his life. Fearless, for years, you've been able to do the impossible – you've put up with me all these years. Please, just do the impossible one last time…don't die, Leo!

_White walls surround us,  
>No light will touch your face again.<br>Rain taps the window,  
>As we sleep among the dead<em> 

I can't take it anymore, so I cry. It hurts to see Leo like this…

_Days go on forever,  
>But I have not left your side.<br>We can chase the dark together,  
>If you go then so will I<em> 

It hurts to know it should've been me…it hurts so much to imagine the family – our family when you're gone. I see my tears falling on you. You open your mouth and gasp for a moment.

_There is nothing left of you,  
>I can see it in your eyes.<br>Sing the anthem of the angels,  
>And say the last goodbye.<em>

"R-Raph…-" you say. I tell you to keep quiet, save your energy. You'll need it, Leo.  
>"Tell me when we get home." I say. Your hand reaches out to my face and gently, you wipe away my tears. <p>

_Cold light above us,  
>Hope fills the heart and fades away.<br>Skin white as winter,  
>As the sky returns to grey.<em>

"Shh…" you say. I know I'm making things worse by crying, but I can't help to cry harder to your kindness. All my life, I've fought with him, yelled at him and rebelled against him. Yet in _his_ dying moment, he's comforting me.

_Days go on forever,  
>But I have not left your side.<br>We can chase the dark together,  
>If you go then so will I<em>

As Leo wipes away my tears, he suddenly gasps and pulls his arm back. I hold him tighter. I think five minutes have passed, but I'm not sure. Though I know every second he fights to stay alive is torture. Please Leo… don' leave me! Not yet… there are so many things I haven't gotten to tell you. How I'm sorry for all that I've done…

_There is nothing left of you,  
>I can see it in your eyes.<br>_

I feel water splashing all over me. I block the rain from reaching you. It's raining. Look, Leo. The skies are crying – even they don't want you to leave.

_Sing the anthem of the angels,  
>And say the last goodbye<em>

Shell, I sound like Mikey! Heh. Mikey…he'd be heartbroken if you died, Leo. Can you picture his face once you're gone? He won't be smiling anymore. Because his hero died and heroes don't die! So you can't. Mikey's hero can't die and neither can Donny's…or mine, Leo.

_I keep holding onto you,  
>But I can't bring you back to life<br>_

Leo, don't go… I know it's painful to stay, but please, Leo…can you imagine ask when you're gone? I promise, if you stay, I'll be the best brother, the kind you deserve, Leo, really.

_Sing the anthem of the angels,  
>Then say the last goodbye.<br>_

Bro, I really wish I could say all these things I'm thinking right now, but I can't…my mouth won't speak and I'm choking up. But I hope that my eyes will show you everything I wish to say, the same way your eyes depict pain.

_You're dead alive.  
>You're dead alive.<br>You're dead alive.  
>You're dead alive.<br>_

I can see the pain in your eyes, bro… but I see something else too. No!

_There is nothing left of you,  
>I can see it in your eyes.<br>Sing the anthem of the angels,  
>And say the last goodbye<br>_

Leo, I…I can't. I see your eyes – they're pleading, begging for me to stop the pain you feel. But bro, I can't do it… Is it that unbearable? Tell me Leo, if you were me, which would be worse? Denying your brother's death wish or letting him suffer? Tell me, Leo!

_I keep holding onto you,  
>But I can't bring you back to life.<br>Sing the anthem of the angels,  
>And say the last goodbye.<br>_

…Your eyes. I can tell, you can't take the pain anymore. I promise it'll be quick… I'll strike you straight in the heart, so you'll only hurt a moment longer. I hope that's okay, Leo. I take your hand once more, Leo, and in case you couldn't read my eyes, I'll summarise it.

Sing the anthem of the angels,  
>And say the last goodbye. <p>

"-Love ya, bro"  
>"-Love ya bro"<p>

_Sing the anthem of the angels._

We said it together. Maybe you can read my eyes after all. I raise my sai. I promise to make it quick…


	6. Chapter 6

Okay, you guys have been deceived… Lols, I meant here's a continuation to the crappy cliff-hanger previously. Great, bye!

Disclaimer: Oviously don't own TMNT, never will.

Raph held his sai shakily above Leo. Just a second before he made his final move, he heard a shout.

"Wait!"

Raph dropped his sai which clattered on the ground and he saw two figures, both green, one orange-banded, the other purple.

"Raph! What the shell were you doing?" Don shouted. Even from so far away, Raph could see the fury in his eyes.

"I-I…Leo…he-," Raph stuttered before he was cut off.

"Geez, Raph, I know you've always hated Leo, but this?" Mikey exclaimed.

'Hated'? Raph whimpered at the words. He never hated his brother. But it didn't matter, nobody would hear his explanation now. Raph quickly turned away, turning to give Leo a quick glance, noticing that Leo had passed out, probably of blood loss. Raph quickly climbed up a fire escape and ran from rooftop to rooftop. He couldn't go back, not now, not ever. They wouldn't let him anyways. The only one who knew what actually happened, was on the verge of death. He could never return to the lair. Raph found a place to sit down and think, with a beautiful scenery of New York City and the moon. He sat there for hours to think.

**(Back at the lair)**

"Lay him down in his room" Donny instructed Mikey as he went to get his medical supplies. Mikey, knowing he was the only one who could donate his blood, got his blood transplanted into dizz

Hours later, Leo woke up, finding himself patched up but dizzy and still in major pain. The first thing that came to his mind was "Where's Raph?" As soon as he found his voice, he asked Don who was sitting by his futon.

"Why d'you wanna know where that _murderer_ is?" he replied spitefully. Leo stood up right away, clutching the area he got stabbed but ignoring the pain.

"Woah, woah, where are you going?" Don asked.

"You don't need to know" and with that, Leo walked out of the lair in search of his brother.

**(Back to the Lone turtle)**

Raph sat back, tears running down his face at what Mikey said, recalling what happened to Leo, remembering the heart-to-heart talk they had in his room. All that seemed like centuries ago. Raph leaned back, tears streaming down his face that he didn't bother to control. He needed to get away, but he didn't know where was 'away'. He had nowhere to go and he didn't want to bother April. He decided he'd just stay there for the moment.

**(Lonely turtle)**

'Raph, where are you?' Leo thought, worried sick and jumping from rooftops with unbearable pain. But wounds to the body will heal, those to the heart will not if not treated as soon as possible. That kept Leo going. He'd find his brother soon, he knew he would. Just then as he turned a corner, he saw a lonely figure just sitting there. Leo made another jump and winced as he broke his fall.

**(Reunion)**

Leo carefully walked up to Raph and tapped his shoulder, Raph, shocked, looked up to him.

"D-d'you hafta do that?" he asked.

Leo smirked as he sat down next to Raph, both enjoying each other's company though no one said a word.

"Hey, remember…when we were going to visit the ancient one…and Mikey was drawing?" Leo started breaking the comforting silence.

"And I went up to him and for no real reason grabbed his crayon…" Raph continued.

"And you got it but fell backwards into a crate."

"And laughed at Mikey as I showed him I had his crayon."

"And you broke it"

"-And Mikey cried rolling all over the floor!"  
>"-And Mikey cried rolling all over the floor!"<p>

The two turtles chuckled.

Leo admired the view of the city and broke the minute of silence once more. "How do you always find the best views of New York?" he questioned.

"Hey, when ya gotta blow off steam nearly every week, you find places." Raph replied with a smirk.

They sat there, having a light conversation for the rest of the night before the sky lightened.

"We should head back," the turtle leader suggested.

Raph was about to spring to his feet until he remembered Don and Miket's cold words. "I can't go back…"

"Why not?"

"Have you _heard_ what they said to me? They'll never forgive me, whether you're alive or not, they'll think I was gonna murder you."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked that of you," Leo said. "I should have held on…" he added as an after-thought.

"Ain't your fault, Fearless." Raph remembered the state Leo was in. How…unfixable he looked. Maybe he would have done the same if it was him…

"C'mon, I promise to explain to them what happened, okay? Relax, Raph. And I thought I was the stressed out one!" Leo said, smirking.

Raph smirked at his brother's joke. "Leo… Race ya home!"

Raph began running without warning but Leo managed to catch up with him soon enough. By the time they reached the lair, Leo was a foot ahead of him. When Leo swing the door open, Don was about to ask him where he's been until…he saw Raph behind him.

"Hey, Leo! Where've you-…oh." He had said.

Raph was hurt by that. He knew they wouldn't just accept him after what he did. _No,_ he corrected himself, _what they thought I did_.

Raph ignored his younger brothers and was about to go to his room until he heard Don mutter to Leo, "Why did you bring back that murderer?"

"I AIN'T NO MURDERER FOR SHELL SAKE!" Raph yelled, fury raging in his eyes.

"WELL WHAT DO YOU CALL ALMOST STABBING LEO, THEN?" Don yelled back.

"You don't know what happened…" Raph said, lowering his voice.

"Raph, here's some advice," Don said, his voice ice-cold. "Next time, instead of taking someone else's life, why not, take your own?"

"Wh-what are you trying to say?" Raph asked, shocked, hurt and breaking into pieces.

"I'm trying to say that we're all better off without you. We don't need you, and you'll only be a burden if you even thought about killing your own."

Raph was at the point of breaking down. Wide-eyed, he slowly blinked than ran in record time to his room. He started pounding on the walls.

Don, hearing the thuds from Raph's attacks on the wall, suddenly realised what he said. His eyes widened and his mouth dropped open…_Did I just say that?_ He thought. Oh, shell!

Meanwhile, in his room, Raph turned his hands into a bloody pulp, numb and unfeeling. The pain was nothing compared to those words that hurt like a million microscopic yet extremely sharp knives wounding each and every sell within his body, his heart.

'If…if I'm a burden, then maybe…maybe…' Raph stopped pounding on the wall.

The moment he stopped, all three turtles outside his room looked at the locked door. There had to be a reason why Raph stopped, and Raph, only wanting to ensure his brothers were safe would be doing…_exactly as Don had told him to since he was a burden_!

Don rushed to the door and pounded on it with his fists as hard as he possibly could. "Raph! Let me in! I'm sorry! I'm sorry…" Don had yelled.

Mikey, who had remained quiet throughout the whole incident, stared blankly at the door. 'Raphie… No…!' he thought.

Suddenly, they all heard a dreaded sound.

_Shink!_

Raph's sais! 'He's really going to do it…' Don thought, very near breaking into tears. Leo, trying his best to keep his calm knocked on the door.

"Raph," he said. "Remember what I told you? About when you feel like nothing?"

The sound of metal falling to the ground could be heard.

"Raph, please. Open the door." Leo pleaded, the same voice Raph had heard yesterday. It really seemed longer than that to him. Raph finally opened the door.


	7. Chapter 7

Yo, readers! Okay, so here is the lucky number 7th chapter, and I'd like to thank Amonraphoenix for a few great ideas I'm about to use! And, I do not own TMNT.

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><p>Raph falls to his knees after opening the door, exhausted. Leo tells Mikey to get the first-aid kit. Mikey scrambles off and returns soon after so that Leo can carefully bandage Raph's blood-stained hands. Leo asked them to wait in the living room while he fixes Raph up. Raph was too tired to even wince at the pain.<p>

"Raph, I'm sorry. This is all, my fault. I…I should've went in first, explained to them what really happened before bringing you in…then Don wouldn't have made those accusations. But don't worry, bro, I'll always protect you, whether you forgive me or not," Leo said gently.

"Bro, I would _never_ blame you, but if it makes you feel better, I forgive you," Raph said and smirked faintly, recalling that Leo had said something similar to what he had.

"Thanks, bro. Love ya, Raph."

"Love ya too, big brother."

Leo hugs Raph suddenly. Raph sat there stunned for a few seconds before returning the embrace. Leo tucked his red-banded brother's head under his chin. A short while later, Leo stops the embrace.

"Raph, you should rest. I'll leave now, okay?" Leo asked, concerned that his brother got the rest he needed.

Raph nodded meekly. He lay down in his hammock and heard as Leo closed the door gently.

As soon as Leo left the room, Don pulled him aside, saying he needed to talk to Leo – in private.

"Leo, I don't trust _him_ to be alone with you," Don said, concern and anger in his voice.

"Donny,-"

"I don't get why you keep on defending your murderer!"

"Donatello Hamato! Raph is not a murderer for shell's sake!" Leo hissed.

Suddenly, Leo cringed in pain. With the painkiller Don gave him wearing off, Leo became overwhelmed by the pain. Running and jumping to find Raph, then racing him home, he was able to surpress the pain then but now it was a burning, gnashing feeling that flooded him whole. Leo, as he was about to walk to sit by Raph on his bed, suddenly was unable to stand the pain anymore.

He fell.

Raph stands up as Leo falls down, catching him. "Donny! You gotta fix 'em up, now!" Raph yelled, carrying Leo to his futon. Don nods numbly. Mikey trails behind them to help Don.

"Get out, I don't want you in here while I'm working."

"What?" Raph questioned.

"This is all, YOUR fault!" Don yelled. "If Leo hadn't been so busy protecting _you_, this wouldn't have happened!"

"Donny,…" Raph warned.

"Don't call me that! Every bad thing that happens or will ever happen to this family is _your_ fault!"

"Donny, shut up! Who are you to talk! You don't kniw what happened! If you would just let me-,"

"Let you what? Explain? Hah! What else is there to say about a murderer, killing his own brother? You know what? I. Hate. _You_," Don smirked evilly

Raph whimpered. Those three words hit him like a fate worse than death.

"I-I'm sorry…" Raph whispered before running out of the lair to hide in the sewers that only he knew so well.

"My son, what has happened?" Master Splinter, who had apparently just woken up from the commotion, asked.

"I…Raph…I messed up, Master Splinter. Big time"

There was a long moment of silence before Don spoke again. He could tell Master Splinter was thinking.

"Master Splinter?"

"Mm?"

" I need to tend to Leo. Something…happened. I'll tell you what happened while I fix him up," Don suggested.

Master Splinter nodded before asking, "Before we go to Leonardo's room, where is Michaelangelo?"

"Oh, he's right over…" Don said pointing before stopping.

Mikey was sitting on the floor in the corner of the living room. It was disturbing to see the usually happy and hyper turtle hugging his knees to his chest, face buried in his knees which were wet from tears.


	8. Chapter 8

Hey, if you're reading this, i just wanna clarify to those who read ch 7 that everybody has a tipping point and Leo is his hero so hero + being killed by own brother = tipping point for donny, so he's just protecting his hero, which, he just went about the wrong way doing it. It's the same good intentions, just bad actions. On with the story and disclaimer: I don't own TMNT.

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><p><strong>Mikey's POV<strong>

Well, Donny got Leo patched up but he hasn't woken up yet. Raphie hasn't come home and Donny's been locking himself up inside his lab most of the time, except to check on Leo. Me? I've been sitting in my room all day, crying. Though sometimes, I go to Raph or Leo's room and cry there instead. I don't know why…I guess I just hope that my tears would make everything better, that it would bring back Raphie, wake Leo up. At night, I keep getting nightmares, and they're worse than ever! It was always about Leo not waking up… ever at all. In nightmares about Raph, it's always about just finding Raph, and then he gets stabbed by someone…something? I don't know, nightmares are usually vague. I usually wake up sweating and breathing heavily. Usually, I'd go to Leo but since he's out cold, I go to Donny. As much as he usually locks himself up in his room during the day, he always lets me in at night. He seems to regret what he said and did. He probably wants to try to be a better brother, so I'm guessing it starts with me. Right now, it's 3a.m. I try to stay up but sleep takes over every time! Then every time I wake up, I end up falling asleep again and that's why I get so many nightmares in one night! I've been trying to stay up for days but always fail. I'm scared of sleeping and I know Don will always be there for me but that won't help _while _I'm asleep. And then memories of the dream will haunt me again in the day! I'm scared… really scared. For Leo, for Raphie, and even for Donny. He seems wounded by what he had said himself. Whenever he's not in his room, as rare as it is, he will always, _always_, be staring into nothing, grief written across his face. It scares me. Anyways, I'm not gonna sleep. Not on purpose, at least. I'm _never_ gonna sleep until both Raph and Leo are okay. Don says that since there is only 2 of us, we shouldn't go searching for Raph 'cause it might be dangerous. Splinter agrees too, but I don't. I mean, dude! Where would Raphie get food and water? Poor Raphie. I hope my nightmares don't mean anything bad will actually happen…! I'd be totally depressed if anything happened to Raphie… or Leo, I guess. But at least I can _see_ Leo! Anyways, this whole this whole incident will be unforgotten forever but if something bad happens to Raphie, my brother, my best friend, I'd be scarred and traumatized for the rest of my life! But as long as nothing too bad happens to add on to this whole thing, I guess I'll be fine. I mean, I still read my comic books, just not as much or as often… I really hope Raphie's okay. Maybe I should just…have a little faith, I guess.

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><p>Sorry it's a little short but there's not much to say. Okay, hope this gives you a view of how the youngest turtle feels and sorry if it doesn't fit into his charact, I'm not too good with POVs. Night!<p> 


	9. Chapter 9

Hey readers! Now, since a few of you review with each chapter, I just want to do a quick follow-up so just shout out what's YOUR FAVE CHAPTER! Hehe, thanks! :D Also, I do not own TMNT. (p.s., I realised that Leo's always in the worst position yet puts his bros first in this story)

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><p>Mikey was sitting in Leo's room, lost in thought. It had been four days. Four days from the incident, four days that Splinter was almost mute, four days in which Leo hasn't woken up and four days since Raph left and hadn't come back. Considering the past events, that seemed like an eternity, Mikey cried, his tears dripping slowly onto Leo's plastron. Suddenly, Leo's eyes open wearily. Mikey gasped and threw his arms around Leo, burying his head in his brother's shoulder. When Mikey released Leo, the blue-banded, now in a sitting position because of the hug, held Mikey by the shoulders before moving his hands to wipe away the tears at his eyes. Mikey grinned. His oldest brother's gentle actions comforted him. Mikey suddenly spoke up again.<p>

"Leo, I should tell Donny you're awake!' Mikey said suddenly.

Leo nodded before Mikey ran off to get Don. Leo chuckled before trying to lie back down, wincing as he did so.

**(meanwhile)**

"Donny? Donny!" Mikey yelled, waving his arms frantically while bursting into Don's room.  
>"Yes Mikey?" he answered patiently, putting down his tools and invention.<br>"Leo's up!" Mikey shouted excitedly.  
>"Really?"<br>"Yeah, let's go!"

Don smiled as Mikey led the way to Leo's room. Before entering, Don whispered to Mikey.

"Could you leave Leo and I alone for a while? I need to talk to him."

Mikey nodded, knowing what it was about and headed off to play some video games since he now only had one worry left.

**(in the room)**

"Hey, Leo…how are you?" Don asked nervously.  
>"Fine, really."<br>"Uh…Leo. I-I'm sorry for…causing all this." He said again.  
>"It's okay, Don…c'mon, sit down," Leo said, patting the space next to him.<br>"No, Leo, it's not okay… I-I…,"

"_Every bad thing that happens or will ever happen to this family is __**your**__ fault!"_

"I said something… to Raph…and he took off. I feel so…guilty!" Leo, I wish I could apologise to him now but he's not here…and it's all _my _fault!" Don looked close to breaking down. Suddenly, two arms enveloped him.

"Shh… it's alright. We'll fine Raph as soon as I'm healed enough and when we're all safe, Raph and I will explain everything," Leo said softly. Don let a few tears go before forcing a smile.

"Oh, and Leo, you've been out for four days which aided your recovery a lot. So, you're stable enough to walk around, as long as someone helps you."

"Sure, then, could you help me go down so I can spend some time with Mikey? He's been pretty much ignored for the past few days."

Don nodded, smiled and slung Leo's arm over his shoulder and together, they struggled to get to where Mikey was sitting down playing video games. Leo felt his weight on mostly supported by Don but he could tell that Don didn't mind and he trusted his brothers, all of them, a hundred and ten percent. When they reached Mikey, Leo, sat down with Don's help and said, "Hey, Mikey, how about we play some video games?"

Mikey was stunned before replying a second later, "Dude, are you serious? Alright!"

"I'm sooo gonna beat you Mikey," Leo challenged when the game started. The atmosphere in the lair at that moment was one ofo peace and love. Except that something wasn't right. Donny felt an unease in his stomach. At that very moment, someone too big to be a human and covered in shurikens entered the lair. Someone who was leaving a trail of blood…

…And he wore a red mask around his eyes. Suddenly, the figure fell forward and out of the shadows.


	10. Chapter 10

Heyy, I'm back after the crappy cliff-hanger! Anyways, the previous chapter was rushed cause I wanted it up, so I cut out some unimportant description. I'm doing this in school. *Sigh* Hope you like this! I do not own TMNT and I hope you enjoy this chapter! Peace out!

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><p>He fell forward, they watched, shocked. The red tails of his mask flying behind him. Leo, still experiencing pain if he moved too much, just sat there wide-eyed. Don, sitting furthest from the entrance, was only half-way to the falling figure when Mikey caught him.<p>

"Shell, Raph!" Mikey, muttered under his breath as he caught Raph who was 1 metre from hitting the ground.

"Don, help me carry Raph," Mikey grunted, the weight of his larger brother wighing on him heavily. Don hurried to help Mikey carry Raph to the lab. Leo watched his brothers carry Raph to his room. He sighed, the feeling of uselessness was overwhelming. The 'Fearless Leader' felt a total loss of self-confidence. How could he, the leader, help his brothers if he couldn't even stand up on his own two feet? Helpless, useless and…hopeless - that was how the so-called 'Fearless Leader' felt. He buried his face in his hands as a dark feeling gnawed at the pit of his stomach.

**(meanwhile)**

"He's lost a lot of blood, we need a transfusion. Mikey, you're th-," Don said urgently before being cut-off.

"I'll do it." Mikey said getting into position.

"Alright, tell me if you start feeling the slightest bit dizzy."

"I won't," Mikey replied, determined.

Minutes passed and Mikey did feel dizzy, but he held on. _This is for Raph!_he thought. Once the transfusion was done, Mikey passed out.

Don decided to clean Raph's wounds while he was still out. He couldn't bear face Raph while he was awake. A couple of times, Don remembered that he caused those wounds. He caused Raph to run off, get this badly injured. Those times, he felt sick and ended up rushing to the bathroom, vomiting out the feeling of guilt which still didn't leave. He did, however manage to clean up Raph's wounds soon enough. Leo also managed to realise Don's strange actions of rushing into the toilet every now and then, he decided to call Don over.

"Don, what's wrong? You've been rushing into and out of the bathroom for the past hour? C'mon what's wrong?" Leo asked, concern written across his face.

"I…I…I caused all this!" Don said, tears escaping his eyes for the first time.

_It's so hard to say that I'm sorry__  
><em>_I'll make everything alright__  
><em>_All these things that I've done__  
><em>_Now what have I become and where'd I go wrong?_

"If I hadn't said…what I said, Raph wouldn't be there, lying out cold! He wouldn't be injured! Mikey wouldn't have passed out in efforts of saving his brother! And now, there's a high probability that both Raph and Mikey, and possibly you, will hate me for causing this whole mess! They'll never forgive me! I'll never forgive myself! I feel so…crushed, knowing I caused all of this! Leo, I feel destroyed!" Don said, tears constantly flowing out his eyes as a feeling of guilt ate him.

_I don't mean to hurt, just to put you first__  
><em>_I won't tell you lies__  
><em>_(I'm sorry)__  
><em>_I will stand accused with my hand on my heart__  
><em>_I'm just trying to say_

But neither Leo nor Don had seen the red-masked turtle stagger out and stand quietly by the doorway as he eavesdropped on the genius turtle's dilemma.

He didn't know what to think. Of course, he was mad at Donny for saying all those things with no hard facts, just assumptions! But getting hurt was his fault, not Donny's. He had gone straight into a fight even after realizing he was definitely outnumbered!

_I'm sorry, it's all that I can say__  
><em>_You mean so much__  
><em>_And I'd fix all that I've done if I could start again__  
><em>_I'd throw it all away to the shadows of regrets__  
><em>_And you would have the best of me_

And sure, he was hurt and mad, but he would never ever hate his own brother! Just the very thought made him shudder. And Mikey, he was just a ball of sunshine! He would never hate _anybody_! Raph knew how Mikey would feel at seeing himself injured but he also knew Mikey wouldn't, couldn't, hate anybody, especially his own brother! Raph sighed. His younger brother thought he hated him.

_I know that I can't take__  
><em>_Back all of the mistakes but I will try__  
><em>_Although its not easy__  
><em>_I know you believe me 'cause I would not lie_

In the living room, Don had started sobbing on Leo's shoulder, Leo shushing him, telling him that Raph and Mikey won't hate him.

_Don't believe their lies told from jealous eyes__  
><em>_They don't understand__  
><em>_(I'm sorry)__  
><em>_I will break your heart, I will bring you down__  
><em>_But I will have to say_

_I'm sorry, it's all that I can say__  
><em>_You mean so much__  
><em>_And I'd fix all that I've done if I could start again__  
><em>_I'd throw it all away to the shadows of regrets__  
><em>_And you would have the best of me_

Donny, hearing Leo's words, shouted, "They should! You should! I'm a monster to have caused _that_ to my own brother! Why the shell wouldn't they hate me? God, Leo! I'm so confused, so...mad at myself. How could I say that to Raph?"

_I'm sorry, it's all that I can say__  
><em>_You mean so much__  
><em>_And I'd fix all that I've done if I could start again__  
><em>_I'd throw it all away to the shadows of regrets__  
><em>_And you would have the best of me_

Don continued to babble for a few more minutes before shutting up and sighing, staring at the floor for a long time. He abruptedly stood up and muttered that he was going to take a shower. Leo nodded and made his way to where Raph and Mikey were.

When he got there, Mikey had already woken up. He was weakly watching over Raph who had passed out for the second time. Holding Raph's hand, he looked up at Leo who stood at the doorway.

"How's he holding up?" Leo asked softly.

"He hasn't woken up yet...but he's breathing alright. Hey, is Donny okay?" Mikey asked, knowing that if he were Don, he'd feel terrible.

"Don's...Don's fine," Leo sighed before saying he was heading to inform Master Splinter of Raph's conditions. Mikey nodded in acknowledgement before Leo walked off.


	11. Chapter 11

He, I don't own TMNT! Done!

Don was doing his usual hourly check on Raph. Leo was meditating and Mikey was watching television.

'Typical,' Don thought.

He checked Raph's temperature, blood pressure and etcetera. Don was just about to leave when Raph's eyes opened wearily.

_In this farewell  
>There's no blood<br>There's no alibi_

"R…Raph?" Don choked.

'_Cause I've drawn regret  
>From the truth<br>Of a thousand lies_

Before Raph could respond, Don had him in a tight hug. Raph, feeling the sadness radiating from his younger brother, returned the hug. Don had buried his face in Raph's shoulder as the red-masked turtle stroked his little brother's shell. Soon enough, Raph could feel his shoulder getting wet.

_So let mercy come  
>And wash away<em>

'Shell,' he thought. Donny's crying.

He waited, while stroking Don's shell, for his little brother to gather himself. Though he felt uncomfortable from not having to comfort his younger brothers for a long time, he said nothing – Don needed him now. It wasn't too long before Don released his hug. He blinked back a few tears before saying, "R-Raph, I wanted t-to…apologize…f-for…" Suddenly, Don felt a lump form in his throat and he felt his tears fighting their way out. Within a millisecond, Don was sobbing.

_What I've done  
>I'll face myself<br>To cross out what i've become  
>Erase myself<br>And let go of what i've done_

"It's all my fault! MY fault! If I hadn't… I'm sorry, Raph! This is all my fault! I'm so sorry, please, forgive me? No, **don't**! You should hate me for what I've done! Oh, god! Raph, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry…" Don cried through the sobs.

Raph watched his brother. Don's tear-filled eyes looked so crushed and hopeless. He finally composed himself for a second time and tried again. "Raph, I'm so sorry about what I s-said… It's just that…"

_Put to rest  
>What you thought of me<em>  
><em>While I clean this slate<br>With the hands of uncertainty_

"S'okay, Donny. It ain't yer fault. I jumped straight into a huge of Foot Ninjas even when I knew I was outnumbered! Heh, I still feel like an idiot for that," Raph said, rubbing the back of his neck.

"But Raph, if I didn't say-," Don argued but was cut-off quickly.

"Donny, I don't want to hear the whole conversation between you and Fearless all over again."

"You heard that?" Don asked nervously.

_So let mercy come  
>And wash away<em>

Raph smirked, "Yea, I was awake by then but I only managed to stay awake until you guu=ys stopped talking. I was out cold all over again not long after."

"Donny," Raph said, gripping his brother's shoulder, "You gotta know that Mikey and I won't eva hate you."

_What I've done_

"But you should! After what I've said and done!"

_I'll face myself  
>To cross out what i've become<em>

"No, we shouldn't and we never will! Nobody deserves to be hated, especially not you, Donny. You are special, bro! Besides being extremely smart, you're still great at ninjutsu!" Raph actually shouted, wanting to reassure his genius brother. Glancing at the younger turtle, he didn't look too reassured.

_Erase myself  
>And let go of what i've done<em>

The red-masked turtle didn't know what to do or say to comfort his younger brother. Normally, he wasn't the emotional kind and he hadn't had to comfort his brother for a long time now. Yet somehow, at that very moment, the words hit him and he suddenly knew what to say.

_For what I've done  
>I start again<br>And whatever pain may come_

_Today this ends  
>I'm forgiving what I've done!<em>

"You need to know that I don't blame you and I never will," Raph said, hearing his voice as an echo of Leo's.

_I'll face myself  
>To cross out what i've become<em>

"Don, you gotta know that I don't hate you. You're my brother, and I will always love you, all of you."

_Erase myself  
>And let go of what i've done<em>

_"Raph, you gotta know that I don't hate you. You're my brother, and I will always love you, all of you."_

_What I've done_

The memory made Raph smile warmly at his brother and drape his arm over Don's shoulder. He looked over at Don and realised his brother was still tearing, engulfed him in a hug. Knowing he was forgiven, Don let one last tear slip.

_Forgiving what I've done_

But he couldn't ignore the dark feeling that told him those scars would never heal…

Okay, I apologize for the short chapter but I was really busy with upcoming exams and I think this is the best time to tell you that I'll be writing a sequel, this is the last chapter but there will be an epilogue to finish off things and the sequel will help actually kill the situation OR make new ones. Peace out!


	12. Epilogue

Sorry this is extremely short cause it's just an epilogue and I dont want to give too big of a preview. Also, I ran out of ideas without giving away too much info and without using what I want to use in chapter 1 so look out for the story "sorry, bro" that I'll release soon. Peace out!

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><p>With Raph awake, everyone gathered in his room. Leo breathed in deeply, bracing himself to give the torturous explanation to his family. Leo was about to tell his family about being stabbed, when Raph quietly cut in.<p>

"Bro, can I… not listen to this? I…I don't want to…remember…" Raph trailed off, images of Leo's eyes flashing through his mind.

His hazel eyes were filled with pain, hurt…torture.

"Raph, I…I can't do this alone. I need a friend, a brother to be here with me because re-telling everything is as painful to me as hearing it all over again is to you," Leo said, sincerety in his voice and eyes.

Raph inhaled deeply before nodding, knowing he wouldn't want to be in Leo's shoes so the least he could do was stand by him. As the explanation went on, Don found him staring at the floor, head hung in shame, guilt and self-disgust.

_Murderer_

He had called his own brother a _murderer_! All assumptions, that wasn't like him! He, of all people, knew that you need cold hard facts or else it was just…_wrong_! And yet Raphael, the stubborn hot-head, had forgiven him. A small smile played across his lips as he took comfort in that thought, unknowing of the nightmares that will come as darkness ensued along with sleep.

**(weeks later)**

It was a typical Sunday.

Since the brothers had no training, Don was fixing the toaster Mikey had broken, again. Somehow, there was a shuriken inside it.

The youngest turtle was relaxing by playing video games. But in the kitchen, things weren't _as _typical.

"Why'd you always gotta be so perfect, Fearless?"

"Perfect? Hey, I gotta train hard to make up for any slack from the rest of you!" Leo protested.

Don had just entered for a cup of coffee when he heard the argument.

_Argument…_

_Images of the incident entered his mind. Voices…his voice. Arguing with Leo…blaming Raph…Cries…Mikey's at night…nightmares...suicide, death._

Don closed his eyes as darkness engulfed his vision. The argument slowly faded as the two arguing turtle watched their purple-banded brother clutch his head as he cringed in pain at the memories. Soon, the tortured turtle collapsed to the ground an all of his brother's voices faded away…


End file.
